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Ryen Goebel's avatar

I read a poem earlier this month, because a tiny snippet of it was posted on the wall of the library where I work. Here is the full text:

The Chance

by Arthur Sze

1950 –

   The blue-black mountains are etched

   with ice. I drive south in fading light.

   The lights of my car set out before

   me, and disappear before my very eyes.

   And as I approach thirty, the distances

   are shorter than I guess? The mind

   travels at the speed of light. But for

   how many people are the passions

   ironwood, ironwood that hardens and hardens?

   Take the ex-musician, insurance salesman,

   who sells himself a policy on his own life;

   or the magician who has himself locked

   in a chest and thrown into the sea,

   only to discover he is caught in his own chains.

   I want a passion that grows and grows.

   To feel, think, act, and be defined

   by your actions, thoughts, feelings.

   As in the bones of a hand in an X-ray,

   I want the clear white light to work

   against the fuzzy blurred edges of the darkness:

   even if the darkness precedes and follows

   us, we have a chance, briefly, to shine.

Your article felt like a wonderful stepping stone near this thought. I am 27 and trying to learn (as it feels more and more urgent) how to be with death and my own attention and how to choose in the places where I can choose—and how to be with the processes that I may not choose. It’s a puzzle—how do I become patient enough be like a slow growing tree on ruined ground, when there seem to be many different forms of ruin, new and old, aorund me. What ground do I go to hold with the roots I have? And, acknowledging, that what I do may be fully as slow as a single plant's roots (or slower! plants seem to get a lot done). It is especially mysterious because, I think I have not yet done all of the wandering and wondering that will lead to discovering the path of my life (though maybe everyone feels this way?). I have this constellation of different sparks and I am not sure how they link together, and which to coax now, and whether some will disappear forever while I choose to give my attention to others. It seems like some will, and so part of it is grief?

Your post feels like one I can come back to, to learn from in different ways.

Kristopher Drummond's avatar

Thanks so much for reading and sharing <3